Sometimes, following a divorce, couples may have difficulties co-existing. However, if you have children together, it benefits your children to stay in their lives and continue to parent together. According to WebMD, parallel parenting is ideal for parents following a high-conflict divorce.
Unlike co-parenting, parallel parenting is a method where you care for the kids but have limited contact with one another. To make a parallel parenting work, you have to be able to set boundaries with your ex.
Create a detailed parenting plan where you have limited contact
Detailed parenting plans allow you to have less contact. Make sure you include every aspect of pick-ups and drop-offs, which parent has decision-making power, what happens when someone misses their scheduled time and how you plan to deal with conflict when it arises. If you have a parenting plan as a guide, you do not have to spend much time in conversation.
Agree on major decisions and let go of the minor details
You do not have to agree on every aspect of parenting. Before the parallel parenting arrangement, you and your ex may want to discuss religion, medical care, and education. If necessary, having these talks in front of mediators can help alleviate the tension. On the other hand, minor details can remain up to the individual parent. For example, your spouse does not need to have input on your children’s routine while in your home.
When it comes to routine, keep in mind that a consistent routine may benefit the child, but you do not have to agree on every element of parenting. You should set boundaries to stay out of one another’s minor decisions.